Saturday, June 1, 2013

Wondering What is to Come

In seventeen days I will be laying in a hospital bed, recovering from my next (and hopefully, last) surgery. This will be the surgery where they will attempt to fix all of the things that were left broken over three and a half years ago. The goal is to repair the intestines, get them back inside my body, fix the hernia, and patch the whole abdomen with great big sheets of mesh. If all goes well they are going to try to do it laparoscopically. If when the surgeon gets in there, he can't see as well as he would like, then he'll proceed to open me up fully. The recovery time varies quite a bit depending on procedure.

So what am I thinking about?

Where is my mind these days?

What is my biggest concern?

What would you like to know?


  1. Good questions, Love. I'd like to hear what your biggest concern is at this point.... I can make assumptions, but I'd probably be wrong.

    1. My biggest concern: letting everyone down.

      Failing to survive the surgery.
      Seeing something else go wrong.
      Wishing after the surgery that I had never done it.

      All sorts of concerns.

  2. I would like to know what we can do to help you feel that you really are supported with love, light, and all the many well wishes of a whole community that cares for you! Hugs

    1. That is a great question. I struggle constantly with addressing the idea of what I need. Unfortunately I lack the menu of what those needs are. Sounds silly when I say it that way, but I figure if I need it, I go get it. When it is more than that, I simply assume it cant happen. That's the short version.

      The other conundrum is that just because I have a need, doesn't mean that just anyone can fulfill that need. That's hard too.

      In the end, I think this surgery will go smoothly. We will likely need help getting to and from doctor's appointments for a few weeks while they restrict my driving. I think Nancy's parents will watch over Aurora while I am in the hospital. After the first week or so home, I should know more about what we'll need. Hopefully... :)

  3. will you be able to throw pots again? (not WILL you - but will you be ABLE?)

    1. Not very likely that I will be able to. From what I have read (and from what the surgeon has said), the likelihood of further herniation is incredibly high. That means no heavy lifting... and that kind of rules out making pots. I could probably find some way to "accommodate" that need,.. have someone else do the heavy lifting... but would it be worth it? I doubt it.

      My hope is that with a few months of recovery and rebuilding of the muscles that have been un-used for the past 3.5 yrs, I will be able to do things like pushups, lift myself out of my kayak, go bike riding... little stuff. Making pots is history.